18/12/2002
Now we move on to the award for A Company in the Financial Services Industry
We have had many arguments about this as just to choose the nominations is like shooting fish in a barrel. How do we separate the investment banks whose services to fiction will be remebered for years. We can look back with fondness at terms like " pro forma accounting" "constant currency" and "ebitda". As Warren Buffet said earlier this year: " Bad terminology is the enemy of good thinking. In golf my score is frequently below par on a pro-forma basis. I have firm plans to restructure my putting stroke and therefore only count the swings I take before reaching the green."
I will only choose one investment bank but this should be seen as a group nomination.
Merrill Lynch
I could go on about Enron, the fact that they still employ David Risinger,
the fact that they have had more law suits against them from staff than even
I can believe or their general uselessness but instead I will leave it to
Merrill Lynch with a quote from their annual report.
" Our future is about growth- growth built on a culture of excellence.
A culture that extends from how we think, to how we behave, to how we measure
performance. By acheiving excellence- in everything we do, every time we do
it- we will deliver the full value of Merrill Lynch for our clients, shareholders
and employees." Ooops.
Commerzbank
For generally setting low targets and failing to achieve them.A glance at their recent interim report would signal that further problems lie ahead for this mediocre institution. The only company that wanted to buy their Jupiter asset Management as the guy who sold it to them, for a significantly higher price. Commerz blame the poor equity markets on " persistent speculation about a war in Iraq ". Obviously the bursting of a share bubble, exacerbated by increased leverage, crooked accountants, the rigid suicide pact and incompetent financial institutions passed them by.
Further in the report they say how they will be cutting investment banking jobs by a further 25%. How about they start with their management structure of: The Group Staff Council, The Central staff Council, the 16 regional Advisory Committees, the 21 members of the Supervisory Board, the 21 members of the Central Advisory Board and the 8 members of the Board of managing directors. It seems that the only person not on a board is Boris the night watchman.
Barclays.
As a customer of 10 years standing I feel I am well placed to comment on this bunch. I have what is called a Premier Account, whatever that means. I have a very nice manager who I have known for many years. or perhaps I should say I used to know her because it seems that I am no longer allowed to talk to her. I am not even allowed to talk to my branch but instead go through a central communication system, which is apparently for my convenience though I really must ask what is so Central or convenient about talking to someone in Kandahar or Albania.
Harry